One Day which seemed Far Away
The music plays us out, I know
I always heard the strings
Drifting out across the cove
And I foresaw many things
Maybe I have been naive
Maybe I'm just weak
The words I heard every day
Were the ones you chose to speak
And the time has come for me
It's beating down the door
When night-time falls we'll heed the calls
And out will drop the floor
posted by tzb at 12:37 am
2 Comments:
that one you? i like that one. though the meter is slightly off in "and i foresaw many things" and i think "the words i heard every day" might sound better as "the words that i heardevery day"--but this is just meter. i'm definitely not a poet so *shrug*
but i do really like this one. the rhymes are natural and flowing, and the imagery is beautiful.
Thanks! It's indeed me. Your points are good ones. I do find it hard to keep a flow sometimes, and also I think very fast so there's not a lot of time to get the linking words in all the time..
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