Some Dreams Tonight

If I came to you tonight and tapped at your window
Whilst you were sleeping
Would you let me in?
Would you see the fear in my eyes, the desperation?
Could we make it?
Would you come with me
Down to the water where the skin is flush with life
And swim with me?
Out into the vast blackness
Where no birds call and no lights shine, down, down

And where we come to rest is ours, my love, yours and mine alone
Nothing shall disturb us
Set as crosses to the sky
Within the thinning air and beneath ourselves only sleep
Sighing the waves,
Sighing the waves you cannot catch.

Extracting the Self

I say "I'm only human" as if it's an excuse
In fact it is the truth
And as soon as I can realise that being human is enough
I can allow myself to live
When the sun comes up in the feilds, I still
Know what it is to feel
And when the birds fly back to the treetops at night
I am the light

I dream of being somebody else sometimes
It's just my mind
When I try to contain myself within myself
There is nothing else
When the world spins round the days still tick on by
I can only try
So if there is room enough to open my soul
Take it whole.

What I Was

I was a fool, a quiet fool
Sitting alone, thinking foolish things
Meaningless thought filling my space in the world
Scribbles through the lines of my life
Whisperings in my silent moments
I was a fool.

I was a drunk, a hidden drunk
Drinking to control myself with chaos
To allow the emptiness to flood out into action
Losing my self esteem, self control
Breaking through morality
I was a drunk.

I was weak, feigning strength
Preaching strenth to the weak
Attempting to create myself a strength
Within the arms of another's life
Inside another's wisdom, my own
I was weak.

I am myself, only myself
Take me as I am.

Surrounded

Turn your back on me, my friend
I won't look at you again
Can't return to where we were born
I just need to find my way home

It's symptomatic of the state of play
In the world which forgets us so easily

And I looked into your soul and saw corruption
I say your face turn from action
To despair, through denials
Returning gentle promises with silence.

I've Been Told

I've been told it's only human
To be honest it seems to be in everything
Every thought, every perception I have
And had, all wrapped in this feeling

Remove me from the quiet life
Throw me into city streets
Show me how bad it can get
Empty my pockets, my heart

Wandering around the world
Trying to find solitude outside
When all I can have is inside
Reversals of fate

I've been told that it comes easy
To some people, some lucky people
Who can reach outside themselves
Arms outstretched sunwards

I've forgiven everyone
And I still regret everything I've done
I can't take them back
So if I can't win I'll just keep pushing.

Parachuting

When we dropped it was like seretonin being pumped through me
Cut up into little bits
Thrown into the void

Hurtling downwards, a dizzying descent so full of fear
And exhilaration
Total confrontation

And you pull the cord, snap me back to the world
Bring me back to reality, push downwards
On each of my bones, locked into themselves
Reminding me of who I am

And we landed
Full frontal impact
Time blowing out the world around us, filling our eyes with horizons

Down here there's nothing
The rush has come to nought
Filling my lungs with air and breathing out, breathing out.

Trying Again

When the world is tied around us
Folded within fabric
Senitmental to a fault
Oh, there were good days
And happy times, many a happy afternoon
Rocks in the sea, once
Pebbles in streams flowing slowly out.

The day is drawing in
Sun shines off the tips of the branches
Now barren
Thick with mulch on the wet earth
And moving in silence, birds returning
Nesting for daybreak tomorrow.

The world is almost empty, almost still
At once becoming old and new.